What Is Family Violence?

Family violence is any behaviour by a family member towards another family member that:

• is violent
• is threatening
• forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour
• causes a family member to fear for their safety or the safety of another individual

The behaviour does not need to be criminal for it to be considered family violence.

In the case of a child, direct or indirect exposure to family violence is a form of family violence. The impact for children witnessing family violence is similar to the impact of being directly abused. Family members include:

• any member of a child’s household
• a person one of their parents is dating if that person participates in family life

Violence in the family is not limited to lower-income families or to certain ethnic or cultural groups. People from all backgrounds experience family violence. They often suffer alone for a long time, not wanting to admit that they are experiencing family violence.

There is no such thing as a typical person who commits family violence. However, some studies suggest that there is a typical pattern to family violence. It is referred to as the cycle of violence. It has three distinct phases. During the first phase, tension, frustration, and anger on the part of the perpetrator may gradually build up over time. The build-up period may range from days to months, or possibly even years. As the tension builds, the possibility that violence will occur becomes greater.

At some point, an explosion occurs. This is the second phase. The violence may last minutes or may continue over a period of days. Following the violence, there is usually a period of relative calm. This is the third phase. It is often referred to as the honeymoon phase. During this phase, the perpetrator is likely to apologize and try to make amends. Then the cycle repeats itself.

Violent behaviour, however, is not always this predictable. Family violence can vary widely from case to case. The term family violence covers a wide range of behaviour that may or may not involve actual physical violence.

Physical abuse is any aggressive behaviour directed at another person, such as:

• choking, grabbing, or shaking
• pinching, squeezing or biting
• pushing, slapping, punching or kicking

It also includes throwing objects or using a weapon. Such conduct will often result in serious injuries. However, victims will just as often suffer physical injury that is not visible.

Sexual abuse is forced participation in any type of sexual activity. No one, including a spouse or partner, has the right to force someone to participate in sexual activity if they do not want to.

Psychological abuse is the infliction of emotional pain and suffering by doing things to control or degrade another person. This includes:

• persistent verbal attacks on self-esteem
• repeated accusations of infidelity
• threats of suicide or harm to others
• control over things like friends, clothes, and money.

Forced confinement is when someone does not allow another person out of a space such as a house, room, bed or chair.

Threats or violence towards pets or property involves destroying or damaging property or harming animals. This may include the direct or indirect threat that “you are next.”

Other examples include:

• threats to kill or cause bodily harm to any person
• harassment, including stalking
• failure to provide the necessaries of life
• financial abuse